God's Army

Oh, but they are an interesting bunch: God's Army. They come down from all over the country during our pagan celebrations. They congregate on our streets and try to save our souls. Thank god someone cares about our black and rowdy souls.

They shout:

Homo sex is a threat to national security!
Potheads are Hellbound!
Repent!

I wonder: where are the women? There are no women. Maybe it is only the men that get to be in God's Army. And, the women pack sandwiches because our food is also sinful.

A suntanned lady from Florida, half clothed, tries to argue with one of God's soldiers, but she is not as skilled as they are at manipulating words. Some frat boys from the Midwest pose for pictures in front of God's Army. They hold up beers and plastic boobs and dildos. It must be hard to hold back the rage when someone who's soul you are trying to save is waving a dildo in your face.

Patrick is curious so he thrusts me toward one of God's soldiers to get the scoop. "It's hard," he says. "The homosexuals spit on us, you know." Where do they come from? "We come from all over America. We are the majority. Prepare yourself," he warns. So I pull Patrick away to start the preparations. And, we walk down the street. Both of us damned by God's Army.